I'm a team manager and love being one! My family has a passion for the sport of BMX and we do as much as we can to promote BMX and support others with the same love.

Here's what happened........

I have a 13X rider who refused to wear his team gear all weekend. I talked to the rider and explained it's an ABA rule that all Bike Shop and Factory team riders must wear a team jersey for points they've earned on the team sheet to qualify.

Well the ugly truth reared it's ugly head why they were being defiant....... the riders mom and dad are upset because I supplied equipment to another 13X rider on the team. The reason: the kid is a great kid and was in need. Well, now that the rider I helped has picked up his game and is now faster than their kid, they made a comment that was not only out of jealousy, but racially derogative, stating: "how come he gives the ----- kid gear" and said I'm an a-hole for doing so! (I will just say the kid isn't Caucasian and the family causing trouble is). I've already removed the kid (with the trouble causing parents) from my roster and will notify the ABA in writing tomorrow to remove him.

It's so hard for me to bite my tongue on this one, as my nature is wanting to really take them to the mat over this. I'm also an executive board member for our local track and my thought is to ban them all together, but I don't think I can really do that, or probably should......I don't know.

What would you do, or have done???????

The kids been removed from the team. Leave it at that.

If they parents cause trouble at the local track then the executive would be the one's to deal with that situation as a group.

Just my opinion.

Sounds like you made the right choice, racial comments are not acceptable. Being TM it is your decision as to your level of help to each rider and their placement on the team sheet. People on the team sheet should be honored and represent the team by wearing the gear, riding hard, and having great sportsmanship to all competitors. Banning from the local track shouldn't have anything to do with this incident though.

You did the right thing. I wouldn't ban them from the track, just smile everytime your rider wins and leave it at that.

Jeez I thought this stuff only went on in Hockey and youth football.

You did the right thing, and as other have stated, since it is not a local track situation, no need to take it there unless the offending parents bring it there with them.

Good decision, unfortunatly a tough one.

Good Job..I would have done the same thing...most kids say and do what they hear..I passed on a kid this year because of the parents( and I am no angel)...

What he said. Isolate the two situations from each other.

I beleve if you ban them from the local track based upon their behavior on your team at another location you may be overstepping your bounds and it will backfire on you.

If their behavior at the track becomes unacceptable, make that the complaint and state your case with the other board members for a group decision so they can't argue that you have a personal Vendetta.

Too bad these people are like that.

you handled the situation the way you should have. it is too bad that some people are still this ignorant. hatred is taught/learned and they are doing an absolute injustice to their own kid...isn't this the 21st century and not the 1950's ...too bad.


as the others said...leave the situation as it is...unless it carries over. and how sweet it will be for your rider to beat the bigot families rider.

You handled the situation perfectly. You taught one rider that bigotry, and jealousy have no place on a team, and you helped a rider in need.

I've been a team manager, and removing a rider for behavior is always a tough call because you consider them family.

Good job, and thanks for being there for the riders.

As a fellow TM, I can understand your problems. I think you did the right thing and it is ultimately unfortunate for the rider as he is not able to choose his parents and lets face it, not all parents are good ones. The kid is probably caught in the middle of it or has been taught the same low life values and feels stiffed himself.

This sport is about competition and if some gets an unfair advantage the competitive side of you make you jealous, but in the end you learn that the most important thing about this sport is the friends and family you build through it. Giving back to the sport (we each have our own way) after it has rewarded all of us so much, is what it means to me these days.

Once again I think you did the right thing by removing that element from your team. Also, you do not have to be friends with everyone at the track. The parents mentioned above will either eventually get it, or they will run themselves out of the sport, either way they will eventually not be a problem to you. Just keep biting your tongue and be the bigger person.

Good luck,

I agree, removing him from the team is enough. Sometimes kids are caught up in a situation they really dont have control over and it seems to me this is one. The parents are old enough to make their own decission and the kid is not.

I am a former TM and had to remove a few riders from my team over the years. It is required by ABA rules that a rider must wear the team jersey for his/her points to count on the team sheet. If the rider was not on the team sheet then the issue is more about support the team that supports you. I have not resigned riders cause they decided not to wear the jersey at the Grands when I didn't run a team sheet. So the decision is yours and I support what your did. I have removed riders due to attitude and parents before and it is very valid. I have also had to remove riders due to fighting and racially motivated actions. I am so surprised at this these days.

In my case an older black man on my team was traveling with a younger teen age rider to a race. Both were on my team. They have known each other for many years and the younger even hired the older rider to train him in the past. Now the older man was not the most responsible person and traveled without enough cash to cover his expenses and began to "freeload". This created tensions that came out in racial slurs that lead to the older man initiating a fist fight. I released the older rider since I expected that a 30 year old man should have taught the younger rider instead of going physical. Later the younger man was involved in another fight and was released. Turns out the younger was instigating these fights verbally. So not fun and the team suffered because of it since both riders were respected by all. This also impacted my desires to run the team and my wife was not supportive as much.

I wouldn't let the team issues migrate to the track. I realize that this will be hard but the rider and the parents need to learn that this attitude is not acceptable and maybe some track time will help. I wouldn't be surprised if this rider quits. Is BMX important to this family?

Who you have on your team is completely up to you. If you don't think this family is worth saving or mediating the situation, then you absolutely did the right thing.

However that has nothing to do with the track and any action taken against them at the track by you for this incident would be based on your bias towards them and be just as bad as their poor behavior.

I have learned there are three sides to every story. Everyones perception is different. I don't know you or the other party, but I do know people are too quick to judge. It is quite possible that there was a feeling the other rider was getting special treatment and that frustration lead to an adjective to describe the other rider based on race, which is unfortunate.

BUT, people often say things out of frustration and anger they regret and that don't necessarily reflect their true feelings. Those comments have consequences and being removed from them team seems to fit. Anything more, would be vindictive.

Just my .02, It doesn't mean I agree with the behavior, but this is the internets and I suppose I will be internetly crucified by those who disagree with me.

Spot on decisionn.

Parents like that will burn through teams and unless they grow up and act better, they'll find themselves out of support and potentially the sport.

As has been noted, the kids suffer when we parents act stoopid.

Completely removing him from the team immediately I think is a little jumping the gun, I may have started out with a little suspension of sorts and then sat down with the parents and kid in a week or so, after things have cooled down, and make sure that everyone is in understanding of the good and bad of the situation. Ultimately it will be the childs benefit to understand a situation and to see a resolution but jumping the gun may do waaaaaaayyyy worse for everybody and especially the kid he may eventually opt out of the sport all together which is not what we want. Just curious if this other kid hadn't "stepped up his game" and became faster thatn the other kid would you have been so quick to drop him? My experience in BMX is that emotions are so high and intense that incidents like these need some time to cool off and then brought to the table. Just my opinion on the other side of the fence.

Thank you all for the words of wisdom. I've read each and every word carefully, took a little walk, drank a cup of coffee and had a nice phone conversation with another TM that I respect immensely.

What I have decided to do was stick with the removal of the rider that has the obnoxious parents. To bar them from the track would be way stepping over my authority and would be horribly irresponsible on my part, so that will not happen. I've made all other board members aware of the tension and will abstain from any issues that may occur at the track with this family. I have to be responsible and admit the fact that I would be biased if I had to deal with this family. The two entities (track and team) must be kept separate.

My decision is based solely on the character of all affected parties and not on who is a faster rider on a given day.

Thank you!

Kelly Molles
NVBMX

Sounds as though you did well in your decision making. Having kids on the team that race the same class is only doable if the kids and their parents get along. Last year there were 5 kids in the same class on my sons team, including my son who was the last to join. All of us as parents got along very well and though some of them may have recieved more from the team others did (we got one jersey and paid for everything else) it never created any rifts with the kids or the parents, its unfortunate you may not have been as lucky

with the details on here, it would be rather easy to figure out who you are referring to... which may cause you further problems... may want to remove this thread...

at this point only 1 bike shop and 1 factory roster is posted on the ABAs site

Spot on decision all the way around! Good Luck!

If I were you I would give the kid the boot. No and's, if's or but's about it. First off, you are supposed to be a team. What if you were a high school football coach? If you had an athlete mouthing off, he wouldn't play, correct? So why should this kid get to ride for you guys? I'm sure you can find 20 kids who'd be thrilled to ride for your team and would actually appreciate being part of your team.

Also, the best thing parents can do in any athletic endevor is to support their child, but leave it at that. Parents with ugly attitudes affect more than just you and their kid, they poison the entire team, whether it's baseball, basketball, or BMX. Sometimes folks need to keep their mouths shut.

If I had a kid who was riding for a team and there was some sort of personality conflict with other riders or managers or I was just unhappy with decisions being made, I'd find a new ride, plain and simple. Problems have a way of popping up enough on their own without the help of others contributing to the situation. It seems like this family just doesn't "fit" with this sport.

It's too bad some parents have to mess things up for the kids. hopefully they will learn something from this. I think kicking him off the team might be an eye opener for him.

You realize the other side's going to ratchet up the rhetoric now? That's what haters do.

You just got to be bigger than it all. The 'rents went over the line and you team-bounced 'em. Just continue being the sort of person you want them to be, even when the "they said you _____" stuff comes back to you.

The biggest thing being you don't want to play the jerk game on some other jerk's playing field. It's they're home turf and they practice (at being jerks) more than you. You just got to let it go man, focus on the positive and all that.

Hard-won experience went into this shared knowledge, fer' sure.

especially if they find out they are being quoted and called racists (which they seem to be) on the interweb...

did the right thing... just steer clear from the publicity on this one id say

If you don't want to be called out for racisim then don't be a racist.

After posting this up on another site & people recommending you keep it behind closed doors you still posted up here.

Like I said over there. I don't doubt you did the right thing & the kid & parents are butt holes. But I really question your motive & mode of operation. At this point you seem to only want to publicly lampoon these people's character. Although they most likely deserve it. I still think it's not the right thing to do.

IMHO....

+1

Forum spamming is a jerk identifier, yup.

I did post here and at BMX NEWS. This thread was the first. I deleted at News because the thread here (vintage) stayed on topic, and even if I may not have agreed with a particular response, it was done so in a manner that I highly respected.

Admittedly, this family REALLY upset me. In all fairness, I do have to admit that I'm now completely biased against them. I guess that is my own short coming, but it is the truth. However, I haven't started an all out crusade and the issue is now dealt with in a manner I feel is fair and just.

Thanks all for hearing me out.

Being from ca 4, you know right away that i have a bias on this topic. It sounds like for the more than one reason you did the right thing. The child was ungreatful of the opportunity they had been given to be part of your team. The childs parents should have been thankful that you held the kid accountable as it concerns your team and the aba rules. Out of concern for there childs development the parents should have backed up your decision. The sooner kids learn that actions really do have consequences, the better.

Now that you have done the right thing I hope you continue to do so. There feeling pain, there going to want you to feel pain also, they want to wound you. For your self, for the sport of bmx, and our track here in napa, please turn the other cheek.

thanks for doing the right thing

Mx Mug

Thank you! I just printed this out and stuck it in my wallet and will pull it out and read it anytime I feel that burn of contempt in order to keep my center.

I am going to say the opposite of everyone. Meet with the parents on there ground. Then think about not kicking the kid off the team. Try and make it a win win for both parties. I am the team captain for Diablos Wa.

Well said Elvis.

Well, i don`t have the slightest clue who you`re talking about, but it sounds like the correct decision was made. Character tends to go a lot farther than results these days, and if you have riders who don`t want to support the team, they don`t need to be on it.

I don't know if anyone else has said it yet, but kudo's to you for helping out a kid who may not otherwise be able to afford to race.

You thought the ADD posters at News would stay on topic?

actually, I believe the topic there was steered off course a bit inorder to uhhh protect the subjects

NV, that is a bum deal huh..People can really be dumb at times..My advice is to keep the apples in the apple cart and the oranges in the orange cart..Can them from your team as it is relative to the weekends situation...Leave em be and be thankful you no longer have to deal with them on your team..

Just my opinion..

GH