My family and i live in a very small village in upstate NY. A while ago village members came to me and asked if I would head off a project to build a skatepark in our village. It is dedicated to my freind and niegbor.that used to ride and he was killed in Iraq. The park is coming along slowly but it is coming along. Many have asked me to built dirt jumps. I own 10 acres that are all dirt jumps. I reall don't want to dirt jumps on public land because of them getting ruineined for many reasons. The local kids have started to dig. They have dug many sets of doubles and they are all poorly spaced and half finished but at least they are doing something.
One day my sons and I went over to help and I finished one set. A few days later i went over there and sure enough a kid was climbing and wreaking the only set that was finished. I told him not to climb on them because it ruins them. he gave me crappy looks and some greif and he left. A few days later my sons went over there by themselves (they are 5.5 and just 7 years old) and the same kid i spoke to was there (he looks about 11-12). The older kid went up to my youngest son and grabbed hm by the shirt and was throwing him around and kept pushing him on the ground because he was mad at me for telling him not to climb on the jumps. Both my sons were very upset to say the least. Both of our boys are very good and polite (I swear).
I 'm having a hard time forgetting about that. I told my boys next time to gang up on the kid and fight back no matter what happens and he may not bother them again. Im not sure that was right but it maybe better than our 5 year old getting thrown around. I feel like going to this kids dad and settling this big time.
Needless to say I won't be digging dirt there anymore. Like I said I'm just having a hard time forgetting this and need some insight maybe.
This is a pic of our family. The littlest one is the one that got thrown around.

have your kids gang up on this pipsqueak, and still go settle things with the brats father

It's things like this that makes it tough to help anyone or do things for people anymore. I mean really, if you see a lady walking down the street and looks like sh'e in need of help, you just can't stop and help anymore because that's when her boyfriend with the gun jumps out of the ditch and takes your car!

I'd try to stress to the folks why you don't think dirt jumps are the way to go. As for the kids, maybe if your two (or all three) fought back with the little hoodlum he would either...

A: get beat up and leave your kids alone, and maybe decide not to use the area anymore, or
B: whip your boys but respect them for fighting back, who knows.

When I was a kid we always had cats running around the house. One day at a neighbors house we were playing football and took a break. The kid who lived there got this cat from inside his barn (one of our cats that had wondered over) and threw it into his German Shepherds cage. Needless to say, the dog mauled the cat. I was enraged and attacked the kid and got my butt WHIPPED! This kid was a problem child and fought on a regular basis. He put it on me pretty good, but after that we were friends. I guess he respected I was willing to get whipped for standing up for what I thought was right. Man, my jaw still hurts every time I tell that story.

This is a tough position for you to be in. Over everything, I'd try to keep in mind why the project was started in the first place, your friend who went to Iraq.

You guys, thanks a bunch for your comments they honestly mean alot to me. Both of you gave me advise that I was feeling but wasn't sure if I was right in feeling that way. I told our boys to go nuts on the kid if it happens again and fight him for all they are worth. I told them it doesn't matter if they get fat lips or black eyes. If they fight back the kid will think twice next time. I have thought about going to the kid's dad and talking with him but it probably wouldn't go well if he said one word to me that I didn't like.
I agree about staying on track with the project and work for the benifit of the 90% of good kids that will benifit in our village. I have vowed to work for Nick' sake also. Thanks dudes. Kelly
http://nickspark.wetpaint.com/

that is a wonderful thing you are doing for your friend kelly. and if your boys can defend themselves without getting seriously hurt (i don't know how big the older kid is) then they should. shame on that jerk for picking on younger kids. shame on him. and the dad needs to know. i am guessing he probably knows his kid is a jerk already (like father like son???) but you should have a talk with him. maybe take your boys with you so he can see how much smaller the kids are that his jerk is picking on and that also might help to keep you from doing something you might regret. good luck!

I am not sure if things are handled differently upstate than down here on long island... But I am a public school teacher here on Long Island and attend many anti bullying programs and here all sorts of storys just like this one. For your particular situation just by you telling your children and then to have it in writing to stand up to and fight the other child, will land you as the parent in trouble, even though the other child started it. In this day especially where I live maybe different in other areas I am not sure, the best advice is to walk away, calmly call the other parent and try and settle this without confratation. If you tell your sons to gang up what happens next time does the 10 yr old get his buddies and the next time he sees your sons do all of them gang up on your kids, this could potentially make a big mess. Just yesterday I aloud my son to stay at his school playground with a few friends as I was leaving I noticed alot of other older kids hanging around the last thing i did was ask my son "if you see trouble what do you do" and he responded "walk away". Just my .2 cents.

Hi Kelly a message from U.K how come the local villagers didnt back you up dude cos they ask you to build the park its was for there benefit and your village or is like some people over here they want people to do things but any trouble they dont want to know, what some of our BMXers & SKATERS do in our area is any trouble from guys out of our area they go in to DOG TOWN & THE Z BOYS mode LOCALS ONLY n make them fell not wanted there, no kid should be bullied by some jump up little A**HOLE I hope your son is o.k, see if you can get the village to talk to the DICKWEEDS dad to stop him messing things up GOOD LUCK I HOPE YOUR PARK GETS BUILD